When the clock strikes high noon, the dirty streets of the Old West clear out and even the tumbleweeds tremble because they know Calamity Pain is on the loose! She's got a six shooter full of spit and a cowgirl hat full of vinegar, so you better be a real quick-draw if you hope to make it out alive without being lassoed and hog-tied while she hollers, "YEE-HAW!" over your carcass.
A down and dirty daredevil riding in on a motorcycle from Hell. Sh-evil Kn-evil does donuts around her unlucky opponents in the pit. A tank of sharks? Conquered! The Grand Canyon? Bested! A pack of monster trucks? Destroyed! This lady danger of all things mud will wheelie right over your face and do burnouts on your heart, leaving nothing but tire tracks across your cowardly carcass!
The Brizerker is ravenous warrior who's rage has a habit of consuming her before a match. A glance from her evil eyes will weaken the soul as you get barraged by her fists, so watch out- or you will get swallowed by her wild fury.
El Bano started out wrestling in the sewers. She has taken down gators, C.H.U.D.s, and the Thing From Uranus. You better keep one eye open next time you go number two. She'll crawl up through your toilet and give you a swirly you won't soon forget.
Spawned in the fiery depths of Hell from The Dark Lord himself and a beautiful virgin sent there for habitual jaywalking, Satan's Little Daughter is all grown up now. She's been kicking ass since clawing her way out of her mother. She has now been sent to earth to take to the ring for the first time with these tough broads, but will ultimately prevail because she takes after her dear old dad.
Brownie Bruiser is her name and serving God and her country is her game. This Girl Scout doesn't need a license for the guns she conceals. Special Skills? Shit. She has a badge for special skills. Slip, square or blood, this woman of the wilderness will tie any bitch in knots. Bring it!
Harlot-O'Scara may seem like a sweet lil thing, but cross her in the ring and you're likely to be "gone with the wind." Southern belle? More like Southern HELL! Rough and tough with a passion for getting down and dirty, Harlot reels 'em in with innocence, then takes 'em out with one fierce blow. Don't believe us? Well she's fighting tonight, but after all - tomorrow is another day.
Mud? MUD?!?!?! Mummy Dearest is nothing short of a perfectionist. After being killed by what can be described only as pure insanity, she reawakened from her sarcophagus craving revenge on all those who tracked mud into her tomb!! A belt? NEVER! She prefers to beat you with her own fists and rub your face in the mud you dragged in! She's one fierce fighter with a craving for blood. Dont let her catch you using wire hangers either, shes crazy enough to kill!! But don't worry, she's not mad at you, she's mad at the dirt.
Smother Theresa has crept back out from the vile depths of hell to wreak havoc in the ring. Her devotion to darkness is unparalleled, smothering anyone that comes between her and her need for a decidedly demented brand of redemption. Blessed be the poor unfortunate souls who dare to enter the ring with her...watch in horrifying awe as she smothers her opponents while obeying the cardinal rule: thou shalt not smudge thy lipstick.
Things are about to get a bit shocking when Wendy Ow Williams is about. Whats that you say? You’re a hardcore punk rocker who likes to smash his guitar at the end of the show? Well Wendy isn’t stickin’ around for that pansy bulls**t! She’ll straight up chainsaw her guitar in half and use it to spear you like a punk-sicle. Or maybe she’ll go old-school and use your blood as Mohawk gel. Either way with a lust for blood and craving for mud, she’s sure to give you a beating you wont forget. Wendy’s got an “explosive” personality, so watch your back; she may just go plasmatic all over your ass!
CruHella Deville isn't interested in only skinning innocent puppies. She's set her sites on the entire Mud Queens crew, and plans to add their skins to her wardrobe. Don't worry though...she still finds plenty of time to rip a few dogs heads off on stage though.
Summoned by Satan himself, freed from the middle earth volcanic hot lava caged pits- comes Andy Kaufman's Cancer! The deliverer of all that is unholy and evil- the malignant tumor has been unleashed once again- ready to kill all that stands in her way! Here she comes- to kill the day!
When darkness descends upon the muddy battlefield, ravens take flight and fill the air with croaks of fear because Val Hella has appeared like a ghostly threat on the horizon. Her eyes rain down bloody tears and her Viking sword flashes quick death to all those brazen enough to defy this murderous mistress. Val will spread her arms like terrible wings before she kills, pummeling her enemies with her hell-sent move, the Murder of Crows.
Thought it’d be nice to get away to the cabin in the woods for the weekend Molly Hatchet and her bloody ax are here to turn your little vacation into a murderous massacre! When you hear her scream, “TIMBER!” bitches better move because Hatchet just chopped down herself another opponent.
A psychopath with a tast for culinary delights and finer things in life. Do you dare step into Annibal Lecter’s kitchen of horror? Best not be rude. Nothing compliments the taste of blood like a hearty helping of MUD. After beating you in the pit ‘til you’re as silent as a lamb, she’ll dine on your diaphragm, ingest your intestines, and save your liver for tomorrow’s lunch. What’s that you say? You’re wrestling her tonight? Okey-Dokie, here we go. Goodbye, Clarice.
The legend goes that there is a leprechaun with a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, but follow those bright colors after a storm in Chicago and you'll find The UniScorn, puking violently into the sky. With a horn sharper than a switchblade and a tail made out of broken dreams and broken glass, she'll go horse-of-a-different-color on your ass with one swift mule kick to the head! Known to spit glitter in the face of her foes, The UniScorn ain't no one's My Little Pony, but a feisty filly looking for fantastical fight.
Only bandit in town that's more likely to go through your bar than your jewelry box. She'll probably steal your heart too. Although she may be one of the smallest wrestlers, don't be fooled. She gets her thrills by stealing victories too.